BLOOM （Solemnly。） Thanks。
ZOE Do as you're bid。 Here。
（A firm heelclacking is heard on the stairs。）
BLOOM （Takes the chocolate。） Aphrodisiac？ But I thought it。 Vanilla calms or？ Mnemo。 Confused light confuses memory。 Red influences lupus。 Colours affect women's characters； any they have。 This black makes me sad。 Eat and be merry for tomorrow。 （He eats。） Influence taste too； mauve。 But it is so long since I。 Seems new。 Aphro。 That priest。 Must e。 Better late than never。 Try truffles at Andrews。
（The door opens。 Bella Cohen； a massive whoremistress enters。 She is dressed in a threequarter ivory gown； fringed round the hem with tasselled selvedge； and cools herself flirting a black horn fan like Minnie Hauck in Carmen。 On her left hand are wedding and keeper rings。 Her eyes are deeply carboned。 She has a sprouting moustache。 Her olive face is heavy； slightly sweated and fullnosed； with orangetainted nostrils。 She has lace pendant beryl eardrops。）
BELLA My word！ I'm all of a mucksweat。
（She glances around her at the couples。 Then her eyes rest on Bloom with hard insistence。 Her lace fan winnows wind towards her heated face； neck and embonpoint。 Her falcon eyes glitter。）
THE FAN （Flirting quickly； then slowly。） Married； I see。
BLOOM Yes。。。 Partly； I have mislaid 。
THE FAN （Half opening； then closing。） And the missus is master。 Petticoat government。
BLOOM （Looks down with a sheepish grin。） That is so。
THE FAN （Folding together； rests against her eardrop。） Have you forgotten me？
BLOOM Yes。 No。
THE FAN （Folded akimbo against her waist。） Is me her was you dreamed before？ Was then she him you us since knew？ Am all them and the same now we？ （Bella approaches； gently tapping with the fan。）
BLOOM （Wincing。） Powerful being。 In my eyes read that slumber which women love。
THE FAN （Tapping。） We have met。 You are mine。 It is fate。
BLOOM （Cowed。） Exuberant female。 Enormously I desiderate your domination。 I am exhausted； abandoned； no more young。 I stand； so to speak； with an unposted letter bearing the extra regulation fee before the too late box of the general postoffice of human life。 The door and window open at a right angle cause a draught of thirtytwo feet per second according to the law of falling bodies。 I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left glutear muscle。 It runs in our family。 Poor dear papa； a widower； was a regular barometer from it。 He believed in animal heat。 A skin of tabby lined his winter waistcoat。 Near the end； remembering king David and the Sunamite； he shared his bed with Athos； faithful after death。 A dog's spittle； as you probably。。。 （He winces。） Ah！
RICHIE GOULDING （Bagweighted； passes the door。） Mocking is catch。 Best value in Dub。 Fit for a prince's liver and kidney。
THE FAN （Tapping。） All things end。 Be mine。 Now。
BLOOM （Undecided。） All now？ I should not have parted with my talisman。 Rain； exposure at dewfall on the sea rocks； a peccadillo at my time of life。 Every phenomenon has a natural cause。
THE FAN （Points downwards slowly。） You may。
BLOOM （Looks downwards and perceives her unfastened bootlace。 ） We are observed。
THE FAN （Points downwards quickly。） You must。
BLOOM （With desire； with reluctance。） I can make a true black knot。 Learned when I served my time and worked the mail order line for Kellet's。 Experienced hand。 Every knot says a lot。 Let me。 In courtesy。 I knelt once before today。 Ah！
（Bella raises her gown slightly and； steadying her pose； lifts to the edge of a chair a plump buskined hoof and a full pastern； silksocked。 Bloom； stifflegged ageing； bends over her hoof and with gentle fingers draws out and in her laces。）
BLOOM （Murmurs lovingly。） To be a shoefitter in Mansfield's was my love's young dream； the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking； to lace up crisscrossed to kneelength the dressy kid footwear satinlined； so incredibly small； of Clyde Road ladies。 Even their wax model Raymonde I visited daily to admire her cobweb hose and stick of rhubarb toe； as worn in Paris。
THE HOOF Smell my hot goathide。 Feel my royal weight。
BLOOM （Crosslacing。） Too tight？
THE HOOF If you bungle； Handy Andy； I'll kick your football for you。
BLOOM Not to lace the wrong eyelet as I did the night of the bazaar dance。 Bad luck。 Nook in wrong tache of her。。。 person you mentioned。 That night she met。。。 Now！
（He knots the lace。 Bella places her foot on the floor。 Bloom raises his head。 Her heavy face； her eyes strike him in mid…brow。 His eyes grow dull； darker and pouched； his nose thickens。）
BLOOM （Mumbles。） Awaiting your further orders； we remain； gentlemen。
BELLO （With a hard basilisk stare； in a baritone voice。） Hound of dishonour！
BLOOM （Infatuated。） Empress！
BELLO （His heavy cheekchops sagging。） Adorer of the adulterous rump！
BLOOM （Plaintively。） Hugeness！
BELLO Dungdevourer！
BLOOM （With sinews semiflexed。） Magnificence。
BELLO Down！ （He taps her on the shoulder with his fan。） Incline feet forward！ Slide left foot one pace back。 You will fall。 You are falling。 On the hands down！
BLOOM （Her eyes upturned in the sign of admiration； closing。） Truffles！
（With a piercing epileptic cry she sinks on all fours； grunting； snuffling； rooting at his feet； then lies； shamming dead with eyes shut tight； trembling eyelids； bowed upon the ground in the attitude of most excellent master。）
BELLO （With bobbed hair purple gills； fat moustache rings round his shaven mouth； in mountaineer's puttees； green silverbuttoned coat； sport skirt and alpine hat with moor cock's feather； his hands stuck deep in his breeches pockets； places his heel on her neck and grinds it in。） Feel my entire weight。 Bow； bondslave； before the throne of your despot's glorious heels； so glistening in their proud erectness。
BLOOM （Enthralled； bleats。） I promise never to disobey。
BELLO （Laughs loudly。） Holy smoke！ You little know what's in store for you。 I'm the tartar to settle your little lot and break you in！ I'll bet Kentucky cocktails all round I shame it out of you； old son。 Cheek me； I dare you。 If you do tremble in anticipation of heel discipline to be inflicted in gym costume。
（Bloom creeps under the sofa and peers out through the fringe。
ZOE （Widening her slip to screen her。） She's not here。
BLOOM （Closing her eyes。） She's not here。
FLORRY （Hiding her with her gown。） She didn't mean it； Mr Bello。 She'll be good； sir。
KITTY Don't be too hard on her； Mr Bello。 Sure you won't； ma'amsir。
BELLO （Coaxingly。） e； ducky dear。 I want a word with you； darling； just to administer correction。 Just a little heart to heart talk； sweety。 （Bloom puts out her timid head。） There's a good girly now。 （Bello grabs her hair violently and drags her forward。） I only want to correct you for your own good on a soft safe spot。 How's that tender behind？ O； ever so gently； pet。 Begin to get ready。
BLOOM （Fainting。） Don't tear my。
BELLO （Savagely。） The nosering； the pliers； the bastinado； the hanging hook； the knout I'll make you kiss while the flutes play like the Nubian slave of old。 You're in for it this time。 I'll make you remember me for the balance of your natural life。 （His forehead veins swollen； his face congested。） I shall sit on your ottoman saddleback every morning after my thumping good breakfast of Matterson's fat ham rashers and a bottle of Guinness's porter。 （He belches。） And suck my thumping good Stock Exchange cigar while I read the Licensed Victualler's Gazette。 Very possibly I shall have you slaughtered and skewered in my stables and enjoy a slice Of you with crisp crackling from the baking tin basted and baked like sucking pig with rice and lemon or currant sauce。 It will hurt you。
（He twists her arm。 Bloom squeaks； turning turtle。）
BLOOM Don't be cruel； nurse！ Don't！
BELLO （Twisting。） Another！
BLOOM （Screams。） O； it's hell itself！ Every nerve in my body aches like mad！
BELLO （Shouts。） Good； by the rumping jumping general！ That's the best bit of news I heard these six weeks。 Here； don't keep me waiting； damn you。 （He slaps her face。）
BLOOM （Whimpers。） You're after hitting me。 I'll tell。。。
BELLO Hold him down； girls； till I squat on him。
ZOE Yes。 Walk on him！ I will。
FLORRY I will。 Don't be greedy。
KITTY No； me。 Lend him to me。
（The brothel cook； Mrs Keogh； wrinkled； greybearded； in a greasy bib； men's grey and green socks and brogues； flour…smeared； a rollingpin stuck with raw pastry in her bare red arm and hand； appears at the door。）
MRS KEOCH （Ferociously。） Can I help？ （They hold and pinion Bloom。）
BELLO （Squats； with a grunt； on Bloom's upturned face； puffing cigar…smoke； nursing a fat leg。） I see Keating Clay is elected chairman of the Richmond Asylum and bytheby Guinness's preference shares are at sixteen three quarters。 Curse me for a fool that I didn't buy that lot Craig and Gardner told me about。 Just my infernal luck； curse it。 And that Goddamned outsider Throwaway at twenty to one。 （He quenches his cigar angrily on Bloom's ear。） Where's that Goddamned cursed ashtray？
BLOOM （Goaded； buttocksmothered。） O！ O！ Monsters！ Cruel one！
BELLO Ask for that every ten minutes。 Beg； pray for it as you never prayed before。 （He thrusts out a figged fist and foul cigar。） Here； kiss that。 Both。 Kiss。 （He throws a leg astride and； pressing with horseman's knees； calls in a hard voice。） Gee up！ A cockhorse to Banbury cross。 I'll ride him for the Eclipse stakes。 （He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly； shouting。） Ho！ off we pop！ I'll nurse you in proper fashion。 （He horserides cockhorse； leaping in the saddle。） The lady goes a pace a pace and the coachman goes a trot a trot and the gentleman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop a gallop。
FLORRY （Pulls at Bello。） Let me on him now。 You had enough。 I asked before you。
ZOE （Pulling at Florry。） Me。 Me。 Are you not finished with him yet； suckeress？
BLOOM （Stifling。） Can't。
BELLO Well； I'm not。 Wait。 （He holds in his breath。） Curse it。 Here。 This bung's about burst。 （He uncorks himself behind： then； contorting his features； farts loudly。） Take that！ （He recorks himself） Yes； by Jingo； sixteen three quarters。
BLOOM （A sweat breaking out over him。） Not man。 （He sniffs。） Woman。
BELLO （Stands up。） No more blow hot and cold。 What you longed for has e to pass。 Henceforth you are unmann