尤利西斯- 第165部分

middle　on　the　wrong　side　of　them　Molly　darling　he　called　me　what　was　his　name　Jack　Joe　Harry　Mulvey　was　it　yes　I　think　a　lieutenant　he　was　rather　fair　he　had　a　laughing　kind　of　a　voice　so　I　went　around　to　the　whatyoucallit　everything　was　whatyoucallit　moustache　had　he　he　said　hed　e　back　Lord　its　just　like　yesterday　to　me　and　if　I　was　married　hed　do　it　to　me　and　I　promised　him　yes　faithfully　Id　let　him　block　me　now　flying　perhaps　hes　dead　or　killed　or　a　Captain　or　admiral　its　nearly　20　years　if　I　said　firtree　cove　he　would　if　he　came　up　behind　me　and　put　his　hands　over　my　eyes　to　guess　who　I　might　recognise　him　hes　young　still　about　40　perhaps　hes　married　some　girl　on　the　black　water　and　is　quite　changed　they　all　do　they　havent　half　the　character　a　woman　has　she　little　knows　what　I　did　with　her　beloved　husband　before　he　ever　dreamt　of　her　in　broad　daylight　too　in　the　sight　of　the　whole　world　you　might　say　they　could　have　put　an　article　about　it　in　the　Chronicle　I　was　a　bit　wild　after　when　I　blew　out　the　old　bag　the　biscuits　were　in　from　Benady　Bros　and　exploded　it　Lord　what　a　bang　all　the　woodcocks　and　pigeons　screaming　ing　back　the　same　way　that　we　went　over　middle　hill　round　by　the　old　guardhouse　and　the　jews　burial　place　pretending　to　read　out　the　Hebrew　on　them　I　wanted　to　fire　his　pistol　he　said　he　hadnt　one　he　didnt　know　what　to　make　of　me　with　his　peaked　cap　on　that　he　always　wore　crooked　as　often　as　I　settled　it　straight　H　M　S　Calypso　swinging　my　hat　that　old　Bishop　that　spoke　off　the　altar　his　long　preach　about　womans　higher　functions　about　girls　now　riding　the　bicycle　and　wearing　peak　caps　and　the　new　woman　bloomers　God　send　him　sense　and　me　more　money　I　suppose　theyre　called　after　him　I　never　thought　that　would　be　my　name　Bloom　when　I　used　to　write　it　in　print　to　see　how　it　looked　on　a　visiting　card　or　practising　for　the　butcher　and　oblige　M　Bloom　youre　looking　blooming　Josie　used　to　say　after　I　married　him　well　its　better　than　Breen　or　Briggs　does　brig　or　those　awful　names　with　bottom　in　them　Mrs　Ramsbottom　or　some　other　kind　of　a　bottom　Mulvey　I　wouldnt　go　mad　about　either　or　suppose　I　divorced　him　Mrs　Boylan　my　mother　whoever　she　was　might　have　given　me　a　nicer　name　the　Lord　knows　after　the　lovely　one　she　had　Lunita　Laredo　the　fun　we　had　running　along　Willis　road　to　Europa　point　twisting　in　and　out　all　round　the　other　side　of　Jersey　they　were　shaking　and　dancing　about　in　my　blouse　like　Millys　little　ones　now　when　she　runs　up　the　stairs　I　loved　looking　down　at　them　I　was　jumping　up　at　the　pepper　trees　and　the　white　poplars　pulling　the　leaves　off　and　throwing　them　at　him　he　went　to　India　he　was　to　write　the　voyages　those　men　have　to　make　to　the　ends　of　the　world　and　back　its　the　least　they　might　get　a　squeeze　or　two　at　a　woman　while　they　can　going　out　to　be　drowned　or　blown　up　somewhere　I　went　up　windmill　hill　to　the　flats　that　Sunday　morning　with　Captain　Rubios　that　was　dead　spyglass　like　the　sentry　had　he　said　hed　have　one　or　two　from　on　board　I　wore　that　frock　from　the　B　Marche　Paris　and　the　coral　necklace　the　straits　shining　I　could　see　over　to　Morocco　almost　the　bay　of　Tangierwhite　and　the　At！as　mountain　with　snow　on　it　and　the　straits　like　a　river　so　clear　Harry　Molly　Darling　I　was　thinking　of　him　on　the　sea　all　the　time　after　at　mass　when　my　petticoat　began　to　slip　down　at　the　elevation　weeks　and　weeks　I　kept　the　handkerchief　under　my　pillow　for　the　smell　of　him　there　was　no　decent　perfume　to　be　got　in　that　Gibraltar　only　that　cheap　peau　despagne　that　faded　and　left　a　stink　on　you　more　than　anything　else　I　wanted　to　give　him　a　memento　he　gave　me　that　clumsy　Claddagh　ring　for　luck　that　I　gave　Gardner　going　to　South　Africa　where　those　Boers　killed　him　with　their　war　and　fever　but　they　were　well　beaten　all　the　same　as　if　it　brought　its　bad　luck　with　it　like　an　opal　or　pearl　must　have　been　pure　16　carat　gold　because　it　was　very　heavy　I　can　see　his　face　clean　shaven　Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong　that　train　again　weeping　tone　once　in　the　dear　deaead　days　beyond　recall　close　my　eyes　breath　my　lips　forward　kiss　sad　look　eyes　open　piano　ere　oer　the　world　the　mists　began　I　hate　that　istsbeg　es　loves　sweet　ssooooooong　Ill　let　that　out　full　when　I　get　in　front　of　the　footlights　again　Kathleen　Kearney　and　her　lot　of　squealers　Miss　This　Miss　That　Miss　Theother　lot　of　sparrowfarts　skitting　around　talking　about　politics　they　know　as　much　about　as　my　backside　anything　in　the　world　to　make　themselves　someway　interesting　Irish　homemade　beauties　soldiers　daughter　am　ay　and　whose　are　you　bootmakers　and　publicans　I　beg　your　pardon　coach　I　thought　you　were　a　wheelbarrow　theyd　die　down　dead　off　their　feet　if　ever　they　got　a　chance　of　walking　down　the　Alameda　on　an　officers　arm　like　me　on　the　bandnight　my　eyes　flash　my　bust　that　they　havent　passion　God　help　their　poor　head　I　knew　more　about　men　and　life　when　I　was　15　than　theyll　all　know　at　50　they　dont　know　how　to　sing　a　song　like　that　Gardner　said　no　man　could　look　at　my　mouth　and　teeth　smiling　like　that　end　not　think　of　it　I　was　afraid　he　mightnt　like　my　accent　first　he　so　English　all　father　left　me　in　spite　of　his　stamps　Ive　my　mothers　eyes　and　figure　anyhow　he　always　said　theyre　so　snotty　about　themselves　some　of　those　cads　he　wasnt　a　bit　like　that　he　was　dead　gone　on　my　lips　let　them　get　a　husband　first　thats　fit　to　be　looked　at　and　a　daughter　like　mine　or　see　if　they　can　excite　a　swell　with　money　that　can　pick　and　choose　whoever　he　wants　like　Boylan　to　do　it　4　or　5　times　locked　in　each　others　arms　or　the　voice　either　I　could　have　been　a　prima　donna　only　I　married　him　es　loooves　old　deep　down　chin　back　not　too　much　make　it　double　My　Ladys　Bower　is　too　long　for　an　encore　about　the　moated　grange　at　twilight　and　vaulted　rooms　yes　Ill　sing　Winds　that　blow　from　the　south　that　he　gave　after　the　choirstairs　performance　Ill　change　that　lace　on　my　black　dress　to　show　off　my　bubs　and　Ill　yes　by　God　Ill　get　that　big　fan　mended　make　them　burst　with　envy　my　hole　is　itching　me　always　when　I　think　of　him　I　feel　I　want　to　I　feel　some　wind　in　me　better　go　easy　not　wake　him　have　him　at　it　again　slobbering　after　washing　every　bit　of　myself　back　belly　and　sides　if　we　had　even　a　bath　itself　or　my　own　room　anyway　I　wish　hed　sleep　in　some　bed　by　himself　with　his　cold　feet　on　me　give　us　room　even　to　let　a　fart　God　or　do　the　least　thing　better　yes　hold　them　like　that　a　bit　on　my　side　piano　quietly　sweeeee　theres　that　train　far　away　pianissimo　eeeeeeee　one　more　song　that　was　a　relief　wherever　you　be　let　your　wind　go　free　who　knows　if　that　pork　chop　I　took　with　my　cup　of　tea　after　was　quite　good　with　the　heat　I　couldnt　smell　anything　off　it　Im　sure　that　queerlooking　man　in　the　porkbutchers　is　a　great　rogue　I　hope　that　lamp　is　not　smoking　fill　my　nose　up　with　smuts　better　than　having　him　leaving　the　gas　on　all　night　I　couldnt　rest　easy　in　my　bed　in　Gibraltar　even　getting　up　to　see　why　am　I　so　damned　nervous　about　that　though　I　like　it　in　the　winter　its　more　pany　O　Lord　it　was　rotten　cold　too　that　winter　when　I　was　only　about　ten　was　I　yes　I　had　the　big　doll　with　all　the　funny　clothes　dressing　her　up　and　undressing　that　icy　wind　skeeting　across　from　those　mountains　the　something　Nevada　sierra　nevada　standing　at　the　fire　with　the　little　bit　of　a　short　shift　I　had　up　to　heat　myself　I　loved　dancing　about　in　it　then　make　a　race　back　into　bed　Im　sure　that　fellow　opposite　used　to　be　there　the　whole　time　watching　with　the　lights　out　in　the　summer　and　I　in　my　skin　hopping　around　I　used　to　love　myself　then　stripped　at　the　washstand　dabbing　and　creaming　only　when　it　came　to　the　chamber　performance　I　put　out　the　light　too　so　then　there　were　2　of　us　Goodbye　to　my　sleep　for　this　night　anyhow　I　hope　hes　not　going　to　get　in　with　those　medicals　leading　him　astray　to　imagine　hes　young　again　ing　in　at　4　in　the　morning　it　must　be　if　not　more　still　he　had　the　manners　not　to　wake　me　what　do　they　find　to　gabber　about　all　night　squandering　money　and　getting　drunker　and　drunker　couldnt　they　drink　water　then　he　starts　giving　us　his　orders　for　eggs　and　tea　Findon　haddy　and　hot　buttered　toast　I　suppose　well　have　him　sitting　up　like　the　king　of　the　country　pumping　the　wrong　end　of　the　spoon　up　and　down　in　his　egg　wherever　he　learned　that　from　and　I　love　to　hear　him　falling　up　the　stairs　of　a　morning　with　the　cups　rattling　on　the　tray　and　then　play　with　the　cat　she　rubs　up　against　you　for　her　own　sake　I　wonder　has　she　fleas　shes　as　bad　as　a　woman　always　licking　and　lecking　but　I　hate　their　claws　I　wonder　do　they　see　anything　that　we　cant　staring　like　that　when　she　sits　at　the　top　of　the　stairs　so　long　and　listening　as　I　wait　always　what　a　robber　too　that　lovely　fresh　plaice　I　bought　I　think　Ill　get　a　bit　of　fish　tomorrow　or　today　is　it　Friday　yes　I　will　with　some　blancmange　with　black　currant　jam　like　long　ago　not　those　2　lb　pots　of　mixed　plum　and　apple　from　the　London　and　Newcastle　Williams　and　Woods　goes　twice　as　far　only　for　the　bones　I　hate　those　eels　cod　yes　Ill　get　a　nice　piece　of　cod　Im　always　getting　enough　for　3　forgetting　anyway　Im　sick　of　that　everlasting　butchers　meat　from　Buckleys　loin　chops　and　leg　beef　and　rib　steak　and　scrag　of　mutton　and　calfs　pluck　the　very　name　is　enough　or　a　picnic　suppose　we　all　gave　5/…　each　and　or　let　him　pay　and　invite　some　other　woman　for　him　who　Mrs　Fleming　and　drive　out　to　the　furry　glen　or　the　strawberry　beds　wed　have　him　examining　all　the　horses　toenails　first　like　he　does　with　the　letters　no　not　with　Boylan　there　yes　with　some　cold　veal　and　ham　mixed　sandwiches　there　are　little　houses　down　at　the　bottom　of　the　banks　there　on　purpose　but　its　as　hot　as　blazes　he　says　not　a　bank　holiday　anyhow　I　hate　those　ruck　of　Mary　Ann　coalboxes　out　for　the　day　Whit　Monday　is　a　cursed　day　too　no　wonder　that　bee　bit　him　better　the　seaside　but　Id　never　again　in　this　life　get　into　a　boat　with　him　after　him　at　Bray　telling　the　boatmen　he　knew　how　to　row　if　anyone　asked　could　he　ride　the　steeplechase　for　the　gold　cup　hed　say　yes　then　it　came　on　to　get　rough　the　old　thing　crookeding　about　and　the　weight　all　down　my　side　telling　me　to　pull　the　right　reins　now　pull　the　left　and　the　tide　all　swamping　in　floods　in　through　through　the　bottom　and　his　oar　slipping　out　of　the　stirrupits　a　mercy　we　werent　all　drowned　he　can　swim　of　cou