little novels- 第29部分

The　tone　of　steady　conviction　in　which　she　spoke　alarmed　and　distressed　me。　My　face　showed　her　how　deeply　and　how　painfully　I　was　affected。

〃There；　there！〃　she　said；　returning　to　her　natural　manner；　〃don't　take　what　I　say　too　seriously。　A　poor　girl　who　has　led　a　lonely　life　like　mine　thinks　strangely　and　talks　strangelysometimes。　Yes；　I　give　you　my　promise。　If　I　am　ever　in　trouble；　I　will　let　you　know　it。　God　bless　youyou　have　been　very　kind　to　megood…by！〃

A　tear　dropped　on　my　face　as　she　kissed　me。　The　door　closed　between　us。　The　dark　street　received　me。

It　was　raining　heavily。　I　looked　up　at　her　window；　through　the　drifting　shower。　The　curtains　were　parted：　she　was　standing　in　the　gap；　dimly　lit　by　the　lamp　on　the　table　behind　her；　waiting　for　our　last　look　at　each　other。　Slowly　lifting　her　hand；　she　waved　her　farewell　at　the　window；　with　the　unsought　native　grace　which　had　charmed　me　on　the　night　when　we　first　met。　The　curtain　fell　againshe　disappearednothing　was　before　me；　nothing　was　round　me；　but　the　darkness　and　the　night。

V。

IN　two　years　from　that　time；　I　had　redeemed　the　promise　given　to　my　mother　on　her　deathbed。　I　had　entered　the　Church。

My　father's　interest　made　my　first　step　in　my　new　profession　an　easy　one。　After　serving　my　preliminary　apprenticeship　as　a　curate；　I　was　appointed；　before　I　was　thirty　years　of　age；　to　a　living　in　the　West　of　England。

My　new　benefice　offered　me　every　advantage　that　I　could　possibly　desirewith　the　one　exception　of　a　sufficient　income。　Although　my　wants　were　few；　and　although　I　was　still　an　unmarried　man；　I　found　it　desirable；　on　many　accounts；　to　add　to　my　resources。　Following　the　example　of　other　young　clergymen　in　my　position；　I　det　ermined　to　receive　pupils　who　might　stand　in　need　of　preparation　for　a　career　at　the　Universities。　My　relatives　exerted　themselves；　and　my　good　fortune　still　befriended　me。　I　obtained　two　pupils　to　start　with。　A　third　would　complete　the　number　which　I　was　at　present　prepared　to　receive。　In　course　of　time；　this　third　pupil　made　his　appearance；　under　circumstances　sufficiently　remarkable　to　merit　being　mentioned　in　detail。

It　was　the　summer　vacation；　and　my　two　pupils　had　gone　home。　Thanks　to　a　neighboring　clergyman；　who　kindly　undertook　to　perform　my　duties　for　me；　I　too　obtained　a　fortnight's　holiday；　which　I　spent　at　my　father's　house　in　London。

During　my　sojourn　in　the　metropolis；　I　was　offered　an　opportunity　of　preaching　in　a　church；　made　famous　by　the　eloquence　of　one　of　the　popular　pulpit…orators　of　our　time。　In　accepting　the　proposal；　I　felt　naturally　anxious　to　do　my　best；　before　the　unusually　large　and　unusually　intelligent　congregation　which　would　be　assembled　to　hear　me。

At　the　period　of　which　I　am　now　speaking；　all　England　had　been　startled　by　the　discovery　of　a　terrible　crime；　perpetrated　under　circumstances　of　extreme　provocation。　I　chose　this　crime　as　the　main　subject　of　my　sermon。　Admitting　that　the　best　among　us　were　frail　mortal　creatures；　subject　to　evil　promptings　and　provocations　like　the　worst　among　us；　my　object　was　to　show　how　a　Christian　man　may　find　his　certain　refuge　from　temptation　in　the　safeguards　of　his　religion。　I　dwelt　minutely　on　the　hardship　of　the　Christian's　first　struggle　to　resist　the　evil　influenceon　the　help　which　his　Christianity　inexhaustibly　held　out　to　him　in　the　worst　relapses　of　the　weaker　and　viler　part　of　his　natureon　the　steady　and　certain　gain　which　was　the　ultimate　reward　of　his　faith　and　his　firmnessand　on　the　blessed　sense　of　peace　and　happiness　which　accompanied　the　final　triumph。　Preaching　to　this　effect；　with　the　fervent　conviction　which　I　really　felt；　I　may　say　for　myself；　at　least；　that　I　did　no　discredit　to　the　choice　which　had　placed　me　in　the　pulpit。　I　held　the　attention　of　my　congregation；　from　the　first　word　to　the　last。

While　I　was　resting　in　the　vestry　on　the　conclusion　of　the　service；　a　note　was　brought　to　me　written　in　pencil。　A　member　of　my　congregationa　gentlemanwished　to　see　me；　on　a　matter　of　considerable　importance　to　himself。　He　would　call　on　me　at　any　place；　and　at　any　hour；　which　I　might　choose　to　appoint。　If　I　wished　to　be　satisfied　of　his　respectability；　he　would　beg　leave　to　refer　me　to　his　father；　with　whose　name　I　might　possibly　be　acquainted。

The　name　given　in　the　reference　was　undoubtedly　familiar　to　me；　as　the　name　of　a　man　of　some　celebrity　and　influence　in　the　world　of　London。　I　sent　back　my　card；　appointing　an　hour　for　the　visit　of　my　correspondent　on　the　afternoon　of　the　next　day。

VI。

THE　stranger　made　his　appearance　punctually。　I　guessed　him　to　be　some　two　or　three　years　younger　than　myself。　He　was　undeniably　handsome；　his　manners　were　the　manners　of　a　gentlemanand　yet；　without　knowing　why；　I　felt　a　strong　dislike　to　him　the　moment　he　entered　the　room。

After　the　first　preliminary　words　of　politeness　had　been　exchanged　between　us；　my　visitor　informed　me　as　follows　of　the　object　which　he　had　in　view。

〃I　believe　you　live　in　the　country；　sir？〃　he　began。

〃I　live　in　the　West　of　England；〃　I　answered。

〃Do　you　make　a　long　stay　in　London？〃

〃No。　I　go　back　to　my　rectory　to…morrow。〃

〃May　I　ask　if　you　take　pupils？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Have　you　any　vacancy？〃

〃I　have　one　vacancy。〃

〃Would　you　object　to　let　me　go　back　with　you　to…morrow；　as　your　pupil？〃

The　abruptness　of　the　proposal　took　me　by　surprise。　I　hesitated。

In　the　first　place　（as　I　have　already　said）；　I　disliked　him。　In　the　second　place；　he　was　too　old　to　be　a　fit　companion　for　my　other　two　pupilsboth　lads　in　their　teens。　In　the　third　place；　he　had　asked　me　to　receive　him　at　least　three　weeks　before　the　vacation　came　to　an　end。　I　had　my　own　pursuits　and　amusements　in　prospect　during　that　interval；　and　saw　no　reason　why　I　should　inconvenience　myself　by　setting　them　aside。

He　noticed　my　hesitation；　and　did　not　conceal　from　me　that　I　had　disappointed　him。

〃I　have　it　very　much　at　heart；〃　he　said；　〃to　repair　without　delay　the　time　that　I　have　lost。　My　age　is　against　me；　I　know。　The　truth　isI　have　wasted　my　opportunities　since　I　left　school；　and　I　am　anxious；　honestly　anxious；　to　mend　my　ways；　before　it　is　too　late。　I　wish　to　prepare　myself　for　one　of　the　UniversitiesI　wish　to　show；　if　I　can；　that　I　am　not　quite　unworthy　to　inherit　my　father's　famous　name。　You　are　the　man　to　help　me；　if　I　can　only　persuade　you　to　do　it。　I　was　struck　by　your　sermon　yesterday；　and；　if　I　may　venture　to　make　the　confession　in　your　presence；　I　took　a　strong　liking　to　you。　Will　you　see　my　father；　before　you　decide　to　say　No？　He　will　be　able　to　explain　whatever　may　seem　strange　in　my　present　application；　and　he　will　be　happy　to　see　you　this　afternoon；　if　you　can　spare　the　time。　As　to　the　question　of　terms；　I　am　quite　sure　it　can　be　settled　to　your　entire　satisfaction。〃

He　was　evidently　in　earnestgravely；　vehemently　in　earnest。　I　unwillingly　consented　to　see　his　father。

Our　interview　was　a　long　one。　All　my　questions　were　answered　fully　and　frankly。

The　young　man　had　led　an　idle　and　desultory　life。　He　was　weary　of　it；　and　ashamed　of　it。　His　disposition　was　a　peculiar　one。　He　stood　sorely　in　need　of　a　guide；　a　teacher；　and　a　friend；　in　whom　he　was　disposed　to　confide。　If　I　disappointed　the　hopes　which　he　had　centered　in　me；　he　would　be　discouraged；　and　he　would　relapse　into　the　aimless　and　indolent　existence　of　which　he　was　now　ashamed。　Any　terms　for　which　I　might　stipulate　were　at　my　disposal　if　I　would　consent　to　receive　him；　for　three　months　to　begin　with；　on　trial。

Still　hesitating；　I　consulted　my　father　and　my　friends。

They　were　all　of　opinion　（and　justly　of　opinion　so　far）　that　the　new　connection　would　be　an　excellent　one　for　me。　They　all　reproached　me　for　taking　a　purely　capricious　dislike　to　a　well…born　and　well…bred　young　man；　and　for　permitting　it　to　influence　me；　at　the　outset　of　my　career；　against　my　own　interests。　Pressed　by　these　considerations；　I　allowed　myself　to　be　persuaded　to　give　the　new　pupil　a　fair　trial。　He　accompanied　me；　the　next　day；　on　my　way　back　to　the　rectory。

VII。

LET　me　be　careful　to　do　justice　to　a　man　whom　I　personally　disliked。　My　senior　pupil　began　well：　he　produced　a　decidedly　favorable　impression　on　the　persons　attached　to　my　little　household。

The　women；　especially；　admired　his　beautiful　light　hair；　his　crisply…curling　beard；　his　delicate　complexion；　his　clear　blue　eyes；　and　his　finely　shaped　hands　and　feet。　Even　the　inveterate　reserve　in　his　manner；　and　the　downcast；　almost　sullen；　look　which　had　prejudiced　_me_　against　him；　aroused　a　common　feeling　of　romantic　enthusiasm　in　my　servants'　hall。　It　was　decided；　on　the　high　authority　of　the　housekeeper　herself；　that　〃the　new　gentleman〃　was　in　loveand；　more　interesting　still；　that　he　was　the　victim　of　an　unhappy　attachment　which　had　driven　him　away　from　his　friends　and　his　home。

For　myself；　I　tried　hard；　and　tried　vainly；　to　get　over　my　first　dislike　to　the　senior　pupil。

I　could　find　no　fault　with　him。　All　his　habits　were　quiet　and　regular；　and　he　devoted　himself　conscientiously　to　his　reading。　But；　little　by　little；　I　became　satisfied　that　his　heart　was　not　in　his　studies。　More　than　this；　I　had　my　reasons　for　suspecting　that　he　was　concealing　something　from　me；　and　that　he　felt　painfully　the　reserve　on　his　own　part　which　he　could　not；　or　dared　not；　break　through。　There　were　moments　when　I　almost　doubted　whether　he　had　not　chosen　my　remote　country　rectory　as　a　safe　place　of　refuge　from　some　person　or　persons　of　whom　he　stood　in　dread。

For　example；　his　ordinary　course　of　proceeding；　in　the　matter　of　his　correspondence；　was；　to　say　the　least　of　it；　strange。

He　received　no　letters　at　my　house。　They　waited　for　him　at　the　village　post　office。　He　invariably　called　for　them　himself；　and　invariably　forbore　to　trust　any　of　my　servants　with　his　own　letters　for　the　post。　Again；　when　we　were　out　walking　together；　I　more　than　once　caught　him　looking　furtively　over　his　shoulder；　as　if　he　suspected　some　person　of　following　him；　for　some　evil　purpose。　Being　constitutionally　a　hater　of　mysteries；　I　determined；　at　an　early　stage　of　our　intercourse；　on　making　an　effort　to　clear　matters　up。　There　might　be　just　a　chance　of　my　winning　the　senior　pupil's　confidence；　if　I　spoke　to　him　while　the　last　days