little novels- 第4部分

At　the　touch；　my　heart　throbbed　with　an　overwhelming　joy。　Exquisite　pleasure　thrilled　through　every　nerve　in　my　body。　I　knew　him！　From　the　unseen　worldhimself　unseenhe　had　returned　to　me。　Oh；　I　knew　him！

And　yet；　my　helpless　mortality　longed　for　a　sign　that　might　give　me　assurance　of　the　truth。　The　yearning　in　me　shaped　itself　into　words。　I　tried　to　utter　the　words。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Oh；　my　angel；　give　me　a　token　that　it　is　You！〃　But　I　was　like　a　person　struck　dumbI　could　only　think　it。

The　Invisible　Presence　read　my　thought。　I　felt　my　lips　touched；　as　my　husband's　lips　used　to　touch　them　when　he　kissed　me。　And　that　was　my　answer。　A　thought　came　to　me　again。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Are　you　here　to　take　me　to　the　better　world？〃

I　waited。　Nothing　that　I　could　feel　touched　me。

I　was　conscious　of　thinking　once　more。　I　would　have　said；　if　I　could　have　spoken：　〃Are　you　here　to　protect　me？〃

I　felt　myself　held　in　a　gentle　embrace；　as　my　husband's　arms　used　to　hold　me　when　he　pressed　me　to　his　breast。　And　that　was　my　answer。

The　touch　that　was　like　the　touch　of　his　lips；　lingered　and　was　lost；　the　clasp　that　was　like　the　clasp　of　his　arms；　pressed　me　and　fell　away。　The　garden…scene　resumed　its　natural　aspect。　I　saw　a　human　creature　near；　a　lovely　little　girl　looking　at　me。

At　that　moment；　when　I　was　my　own　lonely　self　again；　the　sight　of　the　child　soothed　and　attracted　me。　I　advanced；　intending　to　speak　to　her。　To　my　horror　I　suddenly　ceased　to　see　her。　She　disappeared　as　if　I　had　been　stricken　blind。

And　yet　I　could　see　the　landscape　round　me；　I　could　see　the　heaven　above　me。　A　time　passedonly　a　few　minutes；　as　I　thoughtand　the　child　became　visible　to　me　again；　walking　hand…in…hand　with　her　father。　I　approached　them；　I　was　close　enough　to　see　that　they　were　looking　at　me　with　pity　and　surprise。　My　impulse　was　to　ask　if　they　saw　anything　strange　in　my　face　or　my　manner。　Before　I　could　speak；　the　horrible　wonder　happened　again。　They　vanished　from　my　view。

Was　the　Invisible　Presence　still　near？　Was　it　passing　between　me　and　my　fellow…mortals；　forbidding　communication；　in　that　place　and　at　that　time？

It　must　have　been　so。　When　I　turned　away　in　　my　　ignorance；　with　a　heavy　heart；　the　dreadful　blankness　which　had　twice　shut　out　from　me　the　beings　of　my　own　race；　was　not　between　me　and　my　dog。　The　poor　little　creature　filled　me　with　pity；　I　called　him　to　me。　He　moved　at　the　sound　of　my　voice；　and　followed　me　languidly；　not　quite　awakened　yet　from　the　trance　of　terror　that　had　possessed　him。

Before　I　had　retired　by　more　than　a　few　steps；　I　thought　I　was　conscious　of　the　Presence　again。　I　held　out　my　longing　arms　to　it。　I　waited　in　the　hope　of　a　touch　to　tell　me　that　I　might　return。　Perhaps　I　was　answered　by　indirect　means？　I　only　know　that　a　resolution　to　return　to　the　same　place；　at　the　same　hour；　came　to　me；　and　quieted　my　mind。

The　morning　of　the　next　day　was　dull　and　cloudy；　but　the　rain　held　off。　I　set　forth　again　to　the　Gardens。

My　dog　ran　on　before　me　into　the　streetand　stopped：　waiting　to　see　in　which　direction　I　might　lead　the　way。　When　I　turned　toward　the　Gardens；　he　dropped　behind　me。　In　a　little　while　I　looked　back。　He　was　following　me　no　longer；　he　stood　irresolute。　I　called　to　him。　He　advanced　a　few　stepshesitatedand　ran　back　to　the　house。

I　went　on　by　myself。　Shall　I　confess　my　superstition？　I　thought　the　dog's　desertion　of　me　a　bad　omen。

Arrived　at　the　tree；　I　placed　myself　under　it。　The　minutes　followed　each　other　uneventfully。　The　cloudy　sky　darkened。　The　dull　surface　of　the　grass　showed　no　shuddering　consciousness　of　an　unearthly　creature　passing　over　it。

I　still　waited；　with　an　obstinacy　which　was　fast　becoming　the　obstinacy　of　despair。　How　long　an　interval　elapsed；　while　I　kept　watch　on　the　ground　before　me；　I　am　not　able　to　say。　I　only　know　that　a　change　came。

Under　the　dull　gray　light　I　saw　the　grass　movebut　not　as　it　had　moved；　on　the　day　before。　It　shriveled　as　if　a　flame　had　scorched　it。　No　flame　appeared。　The　brown　underlying　earth　showed　itself　winding　onward　in　a　thin　stripwhich　might　have　been　a　footpath　traced　in　fire。　It　frightened　me。　I　longed　for　the　protection　of　the　Invisible　Presence。　I　prayed　for　a　warning　of　it；　if　danger　was　near。

A　touch　answered　me。　It　was　as　if　a　hand　unseen　had　taken　my　handhad　raised　it；　little　by　littlehad　left　it；　pointing　to　the　thin　brown　path　that　wound　toward　me　under　the　shriveled　blades　of　grass。

I　looked　to　the　far　end　of　the　path。

The　unseen　hand　closed　on　my　hand　with　a　warning　pressure：　the　revelation　of　the　coming　danger　was　near　meI　waited　for　it。　I　saw　it。

The　figure　of　a　man　appeared；　advancing　toward　me　along　the　thin　brown　path。　I　looked　in　his　face　as　he　came　nearer。　It　showed　me　dimly　the　face　of　my　husband's　brotherJohn　Zant。

The　consciousness　of　myself　as　a　living　creature　left　me。　I　knew　nothing；　I　felt　nothing。　I　was　dead。

When　the　torture　of　revival　made　me　open　my　eyes；　I　found　myself　on　the　grass。　Gentle　hands　raised　my　head；　at　the　moment　when　I　recovered　my　senses。　Who　had　brought　me　to　life　again？　Who　was　taking　care　of　me？

I　looked　upward；　and　sawbending　over　meJohn　Zant。

VII。

THERE；　the　manuscript　ended。

Some　lines　had　been　added　on　the　last　page；　but　they　had　been　so　carefully　erased　as　to　be　illegible。　These　words　of　explanation　appeared　below　the　canceled　sentences：

〃I　had　begun　to　write　the　little　that　remains　to　be　told；　when　it　struck　me　that　I　might；　unintentionally；　be　exercising　an　unfair　influence　on　your　opinion。　Let　me　only　remind　you　that　I　believe　absolutely　in　the　supernatural　revelation　which　I　have　endeavored　to　describe。　Remember　thisand　decide　for　me　what　I　dare　not　decide　for　myself。〃

There　was　no　serious　obstacle　in　the　way　of　compliance　with　this　request。

Judged　from　the　point　of　view　of　the　materialist；　Mrs。　Zant　might　no　doubt　be　the　victim　of　illusions　（produced　by　a　diseased　state　of　the　nervous　system）；　which　have　been　known　to　existas　in　the　celebrated　case　of　the　book…seller；　Nicolai；　of　Berlinwithout　being　accompanied　by　derangement　of　the　intellectual　powers。　But　Mr。　Rayburn　was　not　asked　to　solve　any　such　intricate　problem　as　this。　He　had　been　merely　instructed　to　read　the　manuscript；　and　to　say　what　impression　it　had　left　on　him　of　the　mental　condition　of　the　writer；　whose　doubt　of　herself　had　been；　in　all　probability；　first　suggested　by　remembrance　of　the　illness　from　which　she　had　sufferedbrain…fever。

Under　these　circumstances；　there　could　be　little　difficulty　in　forming　an　opinion。　The　memory　which　had　recalled；　and　the　judgment　which　had　arranged；　the　succession　of　events　related　in　the　narrative；　revealed　a　mind　in　full　possession　of　its　resources。

Having　satisfied　himself　so　far；　Mr。　Rayburn　abstained　from　considering　the　more　serious　question　suggested　by　what　he　had　read。

At　any　time　his　habits　of　life　and　his　ways　of　thinking　would　have　rendered　him　unfit　to　weigh　the　arguments；　which　assert　or　deny　supernatural　revelation　among　the　creatures　of　earth。　But　his　mind　was　now　so　disturbed　by　the　startling　record　of　experience　which　he　had　just　read；　that　he　was　only　conscious　of　feeling　certain　impressionswithout　possessing　the　capacity　to　reflect　on　them。　That　his　anxiety　on　Mrs。　Zant's　account　had　been　increased；　and　that　his　doubts　of　Mr。　John　Zant　had　been　encouraged；　were　the　only　practical　results　of　the　confidence　placed　in　him　of　which　he　was　thus　far　aware。　In　the　ordinary　exigencies　of　life　a　man　of　hesitating　disposition；　his　interest　in　Mrs。　Zant's　welfare；　and　his　desire　to　discover　what　had　passed　between　her　brother…in…law　and　herself；　after　their　meeting　in　the　Gardens；　urged　him　into　instant　action。　In　half　an　hour　more；　he　had　arrived　at　her　lodgings。　He　was　at　once　admitted。

VIII。

MRS。　ZANT　was　alone；　in　an　imperfectly　lighted　room。

〃I　hope　you　will　excuse　the　bad　light；〃　she　said；　〃my　head　has　been　burning　as　if　the　fever　had　come　back　again。　Oh；　don't　go　away！　After　what　I　have　suffered；　you　don't　know　how　dreadful　it　is　to　be　alone。〃

The　tone　of　her　voice　told　him　that　she　had　been　crying。　He　at　once　tried　the　best　means　of　setting　the　poor　lady　at　ease；　by　telling　her　of　the　conclusion　at　which　he　had　arrived；　after　reading　her　manuscript。　The　happy　result　showed　itself　instantly：　her　face　brightened；　her　manner　changed；　she　was　eager　to　hear　more。

〃Have　I　produced　any　other　impression　on　you？〃　she　asked。

He　understood　the　allusion。　Expressing　sincere　respect　for　her　own　convictions；　he　told　her　honestly　that　he　was　not　prepared　to　enter　on　the　obscure　and　terrible　question　of　supernatural　interposition。　Grateful　for　the　tone　in　which　he　had　answered　her；　she　wisely　and　delicately　changed　the　subject。

〃I　must　speak　to　you　of　my　brother…in…law；〃　she　said。　〃He　has　told　me　of　your　visit；　and　I　am　anxious　to　know　what　you　think　of　him。　Do　you　like　Mr。　John　Zant？〃

Mr。　Rayburn　hesitated。

The　careworn　look　appeared　again　in　her　face。　〃If　you　had　felt　as　kindly　toward　him　as　he　feels　toward　you；〃　she　said；　〃I　might　have　gone　to　St。　Sallins　with　a　lighter　heart。〃

Mr。　Rayburn　thought　of　the　supernatural　appearances；　described　at　the　close　of　her　narrative。　〃You　believe　in　that　terrible　warning；〃　he　remonstrated；　〃and　yet；　you　go　to　your　brother…in…law's　house！〃

〃I　believe；〃　she　answered；　〃in　the　spirit　of　the　man　who　loved　me　in　the　days　of　his　earthly　bondage。　I　am　under　_his_　protection。　What　have　I　to　do　but　to　cast　away　my　fears；　and　to　wait　in　faith　and　hope？　It　might　have　helped　my　resolution　if　a　friend　had　been　near　to　encourage　me。〃　She　paused　and　smiled　sadly。　〃I　must　remember；〃　she　resumed；　〃that　your　way　of　understanding　my　position　is　not　my　way。　I　ought　to　have　told　you　that　Mr。　John　Zant　feels　needless　anxiety　about　my　health。　He　declares　that　he　will　not　lose　sight　of　me　until　his　mind　is　at　ease。　It　is　useless　to　attempt　to　alter　his　opinion。　He　says　my　nerves　are　shatteredand　who　that　sees　me　can　doubt　it？　He　tells　me　that　my　only　chance　of　getting　better　is　to　try　change　of　air　and　perfect　reposehow　can　I　contradict　him？　He　reminds　me　that　I　have　no　relation　but　himself；　and　no　house　open　to　me　but　his　ownand　God　knows