the choir invisible- 第6部分

Later；　she　was　kneeling　before　the　red　logs　of　the　fireplace　with　one　hand　shielding　her　delicate　face　from　the　blistering　heat；　in　the　other　holding　the　shingle　on　which　richly　made　and　carefully　shaped　was　the　bread　of　Indian　maize　that　he　liked。　She　did　not　rise　until　she　had　placed　it　where　it　would　be　perfectly　browned；　otherwise　he　would　have　been　disappointed　and　the　evening　would　have　been　spoiled。

IV

JOHN　GRAY　did　not　return　to　town　by　his　straight　course　through　the　forest；　but　followed　the　winding　wagon…road　at　a　slow；　meditative　gait。　He　was　always　thoughtful　after　he　had　been　with　Mrs。　Falconer；　he　was　unusually　thoughtful　now；　and　the　gathering　hush　of　night；　the　holy　expectancy　of　stars；　a　flock　of　white　clouds　lying　at　rest　low　on　the　green　sky　like　sheep　in　some　far　uplifted　meadow；　the　freshness　of　the　woods　soon　to　be　hung　with　dew；all　these　melted　into　his　mood　as　notes　from　many　instruments　blend　in　the　ear。　But　he　was　soon　aroused　in　an　unexpected　way。　When　he　reached　the　place　where　the　wagon…road　passed　out　into　the　broader　public　road　leading　from　Lexington　to　Frankfort；　he　came　near　stumbling　over　a　large；　loose　bundle；　tied　in　a　blue　and　white　neckerchief。　Plainly　it　had　been　lost　and　plainly　it　was　his　duty　to　discover　if　possible　to　whom　it　belonged。　He　carried　it　to　one　side　of　the　road　and　began　to　examine　its　contents：　a　wide；　white　lace　tucker；　two　fine　cambric　handkerchiefs；　two　pairs　of　India　cotton　hose；　two　pairs　of　silk　hose；　two　thin　muslin　handkerchiefs；　a　pair　of　long　kid　gloves；straw　colour；a　pair　of　white　kid　shoes；　a　pale…blue　silk　coat；　a　thin；　white　striped　muslin　dress。The　articles　were　not　marked。　Whose　could　they　be？　Not　Amy's：　Mrs。　Falconer　had　expressly　said　that　the　major　was　to　bring　her　finery　to　town　in　the　gig　the　next　day。　They　might　have　been　dropped　by　some　girl　or　by　some　family　servant；　riding　into　town；　he　knew　several　young　ladies；　to　any　one　of　whom　they　might　belong。　He　would　inquire　in　the　morning；　and　meantime；　he　would　leave　the　bundle　at　the　office　of　the　printer；　where　lost　articles　were　commonly　kept　until　they　could　be　advertised　in　the　paper；　and　called　for　by　their　owners。　He　replaced　the　things；　and　carefully　retied　the　ends　of　the　kerchief。　It　was　dark　when　he　reached　town；　and　he　went　straight　to　his　room　and　locked　the　bundle　in　his　closet。　Then　he　hurried　to　his　tavern；　where　his　supper　had　to　be　especially　cooked　for　him；　it　being　past　the　early　hour　of　the　pioneer　evening　meal。　While　he　sat　out　under　the　tree　at　the　door；　waiting　and　impatiently　thinking　that　he　would　go　to　see　Amy　as　soon　as　he　could　despatch　it；　the　tavern…keeper　came　out　to　say　that　some　members　of　the　Democratic　Society　had　been　looking　for　him。　Later　on；　these　returned。　A　meeting　of　the　Society　had　been　called　for　that　night；　to　consider　news　brought　by　the　postrider　the　day　previous　and　to　prepare　advices　for　the　Philadelphia　Society　against　the　postrider's　return：　as　secretary；　he　was　wanted　at　the　proceedings。　He　begged　hard　to　be　excused；　but　he　was　the　scholar；　the　scribe；　no　one　would　take　his　place。　When　the　meeting　ended；　the　hour　was　past　for　seeing　Amy。　He　went　to　his　room　and　read　law　with　flickering　concentration　of　mind　till　near　midnight。　Then　he　snuffed　out　his　candle；　undressed；　and　stretched　himself　along　the　edge　of　his　bed。

It　was　hard　and　coarse。　　The　room　itself　was　the　single　one　that　formed　the　ruder　sort　of　pioneer　cabin。　The　floor　was　the　earth　itself；　covered　here　and　there　with　the　skins　of　wild　animals；　the　walls　but　logs；　poorly　plastered。　From　a　row　of　pegs　driven　into　one　of　these　hung　his　clothesnot　many。　The　antlers　of　a　stag　over　the　doorway　held　his　rifle；　his　hunting…belt；　and　his　hat。　A　swinging　shelf　displayed　a　few　books；　being　eagerly　added　to　as　he　could　bitterly　afford　itwith　a　copy　of　Paley；　lent　by　the　Reverend　James　Moore；　the　dreamy；　saintlike；　flute…playing　Episcopal　parson　of　the　town。　In　the　middle　of　the　room　a　round　table　of　his　own　vigorous　carpentry　stood　on　a　panther　skin；　and　on　this　lay　some　copy　books　in　which　he　had　just　set　new　copies　for　his　children；　a　handful　of　goosequills　to　be　fashioned　into　pens　for　them；　the　proceedings　of　the　Democratic　Society；　freshly　added　to　this　evening；　copies　of　the　Kentucky　Gazette　containing　essays　by　the　political　leaders　of　the　day　on　the　separation　of　Kentucky　from　the　Union　and　the　opening　of　the　Mississippi　to　its　growing　commerceamong　them　some　of　his　own；　stately　and　academic；　signed　〃Cato　the　Younger。〃　Lying　open　on　the　table　lay　his　Bible；　after　law；　he　always　read　a　little　in　that；　and　to…night　he　had　reread　one　of　his　favourite　chapters　of　St。Paul：　that　wherein　the　great；　calm；　victorious　soldier　of　the　spirit　surveys　the　history　of　his　trials；　imprisonments；　beatings。　In　one　corner　was　set　a　three…cornered　cupboard　containing　his　underwear；　his　new　cossack　boots；　and　a　few　precious　things　that　had　been　his　mother's：　her　teacup　and　saucer；　her　prayer…book。　　It　was　in　this　closet　that　he　had　put　the　lost　bundle。

He　had　hardly　stretched　himself　along　the　edge　of　his　bed　before　he　began　to　think　of　this。　Every　complete　man　embraces　some　of　the　qualities　of　a　woman；　for　Nature　does　not　mean　that　sex　shall　be　more　than　a　partial　separation　of　one　common　humanity；　otherwise　we　should　be　too　much　divided　to　be　companionable。　And　it　is　these　womanly　qualities　that　not　only　endow　a　man　with　his　insight　into　the　other　sex；　but　that　enable　him　to　bestow　a　certain　feminine　supervision　upon　his　own　affairs　when　no　actual　female　has　them　in　charge。　If　he　marries；　this　inner　helpmeet　behaves　in　unlike　ways　toward　the　newly　reigning　usurper；　sometimes　giving　up　peaceably；　at　others　remaining　her　life…long　criticreluctant　but　irremovable。　If　many　a　wife　did　but　realize　that　she　is　perpetually　observed　not　only　by　the　eyes　of　a　pardoning　husband　but　by　the　eyes　of　another　woman　hidden　away　in　the　depths　of　his　being；　she　would　do　many　things　differently　and　not　do　some　things　at　all。

The　invisible　slip　of　a　woman　in　Gray　now　began　to　question　him　regarding　the　bundle。　Would　not　those　delicate；　beautiful　things　be　ruined；　thus　put　away　in　his　closet？　He　got　up；　took　the　bundle　out；　laid　it　on　his　table；　untied　the　kerchief；　lifted　carefully　off　the　white　muslin　dress　and　the　blue　silk　coat；　and　started　with　them　toward　two　empty　pegs　on　the　wall。　He　never　closed　the　door　of　his　cabin　if　the　night　was　fine。　It　stood　open　now　and　a　light　wind　blew　the　soft　fabrics　against　his　body　and　limbs；　so　that　they　seemed　to　fold　themselves　about　him；　to　cling　to　him。　He　disengaged　them　reluctantlyapologetically。

Then　he　lay　down　again。　But　now　the　dress　on　the　wall　fascinated　him。　The　moonlight　bathed　it；　the　wind　swayed　it。　This　was　the　first　time　that　a　woman's　garments　had　ever　hung　in　his　room。　He　welcomed　the　mere　accident　of　their　presence　as　though　it　possessed　a　forerunning　intelligence；　as　though　it　were　the　annunciation　of　his　approaching　change　of　life。　And　so　laughing　to　himself；　and　under　the　spell　of　a　growing　fancy；　he　got　up　again　and　took　the　little　white　shoes　and　set　them　on　the　table　in　the　moonlighton　the　open　Bible　and　the　speech　of　St。Pauland　then　went　back；　and　lay　looking　at　them　and　dreaminglooking　at　them　and　dreaming。

His　thoughts　passed　meantime　like　a　shining　flock　of　white　doves　to　Amy；　hovering　about　her。　They　stole　onward　to　the　time　when　she　would　be　his　wife；　when　lying　thus；　he　would　wake　in　the　night　and　see　her　dress　on　the　wall　and　feel　her　head　on　his　bosom；　when　her　little　shoes　might　stand　on　his　open　Bible；　if　they　chose；　and　the　satin　instep　of　her　bare　foot　be　folded　in　the　hard　hollow　of　his。

He　uttered　a　deep；　voiceless；　impassioned　outcry　that　she　might　not　die　young　nor　he　die　young；　that　the　struggles　and　hardships　of　life；　now　seeming　to　be　ended；　might　never　begirt　him　or　her　so　closely　again；　that　they　might　grow　peacefully　old　together。　To…morrow　then；　he　would　see　her；　no；　not　tomorrow；　it　was　long　past　midnight　now。　He　got　down　on　his　bare　knees　beside　the　bed　with　his　face　buried　in　his　hands　and　said　his　prayers。

And　then　lying　outstretched　with　his　head　resting　on　his　folded　hands；　the　moonlight　streaming　through　the　window　and　lighting　up　his　dark…red　curls　and　falling　on　his　face　and　neck　and　chest；　the　cool　south　wind　blowing　down　his　warm　limbs；　his　eyes　opening　and　closing　in　religious　purity　on　the　dress；　and　his　mind　opening　and　closing　on　the　visions　of　his　future；　he　fell　asleep。　V

WHEN　he　awoke　late；　he　stretched　his　big　arms　drowsily　out　before　his　face　with　a　gesture　like　that　of　a　swimmer　parting　the　water：　he　was　in　truth　making　his　way　out　of　a　fathomless；　moonlit　sea　of　dreams　to　the　shores　of　reality。　Broad　daylight　startled　him　with　its　sheer　blinding　revelation　of　the　material　world；　as　the　foot　of　a　swimmer；　long　used　to　the　yielding　pavements　of　the　ocean；　touches　with　surprise　the　first　rock　and　sand。

He　sprang　up；　bathed；　dressed；　and　stepped　out　into　the　crystalline　freshness　of　the　morning。　He　was　glowing　with　his　exercise；　at　peace　with　himself　and　with　all　men；　and　so　strong　in　the　exuberance　of　his　manhood　that　he　felt　he　could　have　leaped　over　into　the　east；　shouldered　the　sun；　and　run　gaily；　impatiently；　with　it　up　the　sky。　How　could　he　wait　to　see　Amy　until　it　went　up　its　long　slow　way　and　then　down　again　to　its　setting？　A　powerful　young　lion　may　some　time　have　appeared　thus　at　daybreak　on　the　edge　of　a　jungle　and　measured　the　stretches　of　sand　to　be　crossed　before　he　could　reach　an　oasis　where　memory　told　him　was　the　lurking…place　of　love。

It　was　still　early。　The　first　smoke　curled　upward　from　the　chimneys　of　the　town；　the　melodious　tinkle　of　bells　reached　his　ear　as　the　cows　passed　from　the　milking　to　the　outlying　ranges　deep　in　their　wild　verdure。　Even　as　he　stood　surveying　the　scene；　along　the　path　which　ran　close　to　his　cabin　came　a　bare…headed；　nutbrown　pioneer　girl；　whose　close…fitting　dress　of　white　homespun　revealed　the　rounded　outlines　of　her　figure。　She　had　gathered　up　the　skirt　which　was　short；　to　keep　it　from　the　tops　of　the　wet　weeds。　Her　bare；　beautiful　feet　were　pink　with　the　cold　dew。　Forgotten；　her　slow　fat　cows　had　passed　on　far　ahead；　for　at　her　side；　wooing　her　with　droopi