only with her lips； the tremulous confusion of her whole being
said something very different。
It was Matrona Pavlovna who had come to the door。 She came in
with a。 blanket over her arm； looked reproachfully at Nekhludoff；
and began scolding Katusha for having taken the wrong blanket。
Nekhludoff went out in silence； but he did not even feel ashamed。
He could see by Matrona Pavlovna's face that she was blaming him；
he knew that she was blaming him with reason and felt that he was
doing wrong； but this novel； low animal excitement； having freed
itself of all the old feelings of real love for Katusha； ruled
supreme； leaving room for nothing else。 He went about as if
demented all the evening； now into his aunts'； then back into his
own room； then out into the porch； thinking all the time how he
could meet her alone； but she avoided him； and Matrona Pavlovna
watched her closely。
CHAPTER XVII。
NEKHLUDOFF AND KATUSHA。
AND so the evening passed and night came。 The doctor went to bed。
Nekhludoff's aunts had also retired； and he knew that Matrona
Pavlovna was now with them in their bedroom so that Katusha was
sure to be alone in the maids' sitting…room。 He again went out
into the porch。 It was dark； damp and warm out of doors； and that
white spring mist which drives away the last snow； or is diffused
by the thawing of the last snow； filled the air。 From the river
under the hill； about a hundred steps from the front door； came a
strange sound。 It was the ice breaking。 Nekhludoff came down the
steps and went up to the window of the maids' room； stepping over
the puddles on the bits of glazed snow。 His heart was beating so
fiercely in his breast that he seemed to hear it； his laboured
breath came and went in a burst of long…drawn sighs。 In the
maids' room a small lamp was burning； and Katusha sat alone by
the table； looking thoughtfully in front of her。 Nekhludoff stood
a long time without moving and waited to see what she； not
knowing that she was observed； would do。 For a minute or two she
did not move； then she lifted her eyes； smiled and shook her head
as if chiding herself； then changed her pose and dropped both her
arms on the table and again began gazing down in front of her。 He
stood and looked at her； involuntarily listening to the beating
of his own heart and the strange sounds from the river。 There on
the river； beneath the white mist； the unceasing labour went on；
and sounds as of something sobbing； cracking； dropping； being
shattered to pieces mixed with the tinkling of the thin bits of
ice as they broke against each other like glass。
There he stood； looking at Katusha's serious； suffering face；
which betrayed the inner struggle of her soul； and he felt pity
for her； but； strange though it may seem； this pity only
confirmed him in his evil intention。
He knocked at the window。 She started as if she had received an
electric shock； her whole body trembled； and a look of horror
came into her face。 Then she jumped up； approached the window and
brought her face up to the pane。 The look of terror did not leave
her face even when； holding her hands up to her eyes like
blinkers and peering through the glass； she recognised him。 Her
face was unusually grave； he had never seen it so before。 She
returned his smile； but only in submission to him； there was no
smile in her soul； only fear。 He beckoned her with his hand to
come out into the yard to him。 But she shook her head and
remained by the window。 He brought his face close to the pane and
was going to call out to her； but at that moment she turned to
the door； evidently some one inside had called her。 Nekhludoff
moved away from the window。 The fog was so dense that five steps
from the house the windows could not be seen； but the light from
the lamp shone red and huge out of a shapeless black mass。 And on
the river the same strange sounds went on； sobbing and rustling
and cracking and tinkling。 Somewhere in the fog； not far off； a
cock crowed； another answered； and then others； far in the
village took up the cry till the sound of the crowing blended
into one； while all around was silent excepting the river。 It was
the second time the cocks crowed that night。
Nekhludoff walked up and down behind the corner of the house； and
once or twice got into a puddle。 Then again came up to the
window。 The lamp was still burning； and she was again sitting
alone by the table as if uncertain what to do。 He had hardly
approached the window when she looked up。 He knocked。 Without
looking who it was she at once ran out of the room； and he heard
the outside door open with a snap。 He waited for her near the
side porch and put his arms round her without saying a word。 She
clung to him； put up her face； and met his kiss with her lips。
Then the door again gave the same sort of snap and opened； and
the voice of Matrona Pavlovna called out angrily； 〃Katusha！〃
She tore herself away from him and returned into the maids' room。
He heard the latch click； and then all was quiet。 The red light
disappeared and only the mist remained； and the bustle on the
river went on。 Nekhludoff went up to the window； nobody was to be
seen； he knocked； but got no answer。 He went back into the house
by the front door； but could not sleep。 He got up and went with
bare feet along the passage to her door； next Matrona Pavlovna's
room。 He heard Matrona Pavlovna snoring quietly； and was about to
go on when she coughed and turned on her creaking bed； and his
heart fell； and he stood immovable for about five minutes。 When
all was quiet and she began to snore peacefully again； he went
on； trying to step on the boards that did not creak； and came to
Katusha's door。 There was no sound to be heard。 She was probably
awake； or else he would have heard her breathing。 But as soon as
he had whispered 〃Katusha〃 she jumped up and began to persuade
him； as if angrily； to go away。
〃Open！ Let me in just for a moment！ I implore you！ He hardly knew
what he was saying。
* * * * * * *
When she left him； trembling and silent； giving no answer to his
words； he again went out into the porch and stood trying to
understand the meaning of what had happened。
It was getting lighter。 From the river below the creaking and
tinkling and sobbing of the breaking ice came still louder and a
gurgling sound could now also be heard。 The mist had begun to
sink； and from above it the waning moon dimly lighted up
something black and weird。
〃What was the meaning of it all？ Was it a great joy or a great
misfortune that had befallen him？〃 he asked himself。
CHAPTER XVIII。
AFTERWARDS。
The next day the gay； handsome； and brilliant Schonbock joined
Nekhludoff at his aunts' house； and quite won their hearts by his
refined and amiable manner； his high spirits； his generosity； and
his affection for Dmitri。
But though the old ladies admired his generosity it rather
perplexed them； for it seemed exaggerated。 He gave a rouble to
some blind beggars who came to the gate； gave 15 roubles in tips
to the servants； and when Sophia Ivanovna's pet dog hurt his paw
and it bled； he tore his hemstitched cambric handkerchief into
strips （Sophia Ivanovna knew that such handkerchiefs cost at
least 15 roubles a dozen） and bandaged the dog's foot。 The old
ladies had never met people of this kind； and did not know that
Schonbock owed 200；000 roubles which he was never going to pay；
and that therefore 25 roubles more or less did not matter a bit
to him。 Schonbock stayed only one day； and he and Nekhludoff
both； left at night。 They could not stay away from their regiment
any longer； for their leave was fully up。
At the stage which Nekhludoff's selfish mania had now reached he
could think of nothing but himself。 He was wondering whether his
conduct； if found out； would be blamed much or at all； but he did
not consider what Katusha was now going through； and what was
going to happen to her。
He saw that Schonbock guessed his relations to her and this
flattered his vanity。
〃Ah； I see how it is you have taken such a sudden fancy to your
aunts that you have been living nearly a week with them；〃
Schonbock remarked when he had seen Katusha。 〃Well； I don't
wondershould have done the same。 She's charming。〃 Nekhludoff
was also thinking that though it was a pity to go away before
having fully gratified the cravings of his love for her； yet the
absolute necessity of parting had its advantages because it put a
sudden stop to relations it would have been very difficult for
him to continue。 Then he thought that he ought to give her some
money； not for her； not because she might need it； but because it
was the thing to do。
So he gave her what seemed to him a liberal amount； considering
his and her station。 On the day of his departure； after dinner；
he went out and waited for her at the side entrance。 She flushed
up when she saw him and wished to pass by； directing his
attention to the open door of the maids' room by a look； but he
stopped her。
〃I have come to say good…bye；〃 he said； crumbling in his hand an
envelope with a 100…rouble note inside。 〃There； I〃 。 。 。
She guessed what he meant； knit her brows； and shaking her head
pushed his hand away。
〃Take it； oh； you must！〃 he stammered； and thrust the envelope
into the bib of her apron and ran back to his room； groaning and
frowning as if he had hurt himself。 And for a long time he went
up and down writhing as in pain； and even stamping and groaning
aloud as he thought of this last scene。 〃But what else could I
have done？ Is it not what happens to every one？ And if every one
does the same 。 。 。 well I suppose it can't be helped。〃 In this
way he tried to get peace of mind； but in vain。 The recollection
of what had passed burned his conscience。 In his soulin the
very depths of his soulhe knew that he had acted in a base；
cruel； cowardly manner； and that the knowledge of this act of his
must prevent him； not only from finding fault with any one else；
but even from looking straight into other people's eyes； not to
mention the impossibility of considering himself a splendid；
noble； high…minded fellow； as he did and had to do to go on
living his life boldly and me