member with the kindly eyes was that the member； having felt a
slight stomach derangement； wished to do a little massage and to
take some drops。 And this was why an interval was made。
When the judges had risen； the advocates； the jury； and the
witnesses also rose； with the pleasant feeling that part of the
business was finished； and began moving in different directions。
Nekhludoff went into the jury's room； and sat down by the window。
CHAPTER XII。
TWELVE YEARS BEFORE。
〃Yes； this was Katusha。〃
The relations between Nekhludoff and Katusha had been the
following：
Nekhludoff first saw Katusha when he was a student in his third
year at the University； and was preparing an essay on land tenure
during the summer vacation； which he passed with his aunts。 Until
then he had always lived； in summer； with his mother and sister
on his mother's large estate near Moscow。 But that year his
sister had married； and his mother had gone abroad to a
watering…place； and he； having his essay to write； resolved to
spend the summer with his aunts。 It was very quiet in their
secluded estate and there was nothing to distract his mind； his
aunts loved their nephew and heir very tenderly； and he； too； was
fond of them and of their simple； old…fashioned life。
During that summer on his aunts' estate； Nekhludoff passed
through that blissful state of existence when a young man for the
first time； without guidance from any one outside； realises all
the beauty and significance of life； and the importance of the
task allotted in it to man； when he grasps the possibility of
unlimited advance towards perfection for one's self and for all
the world； and gives himself to this task； not only hopefully；
but with full conviction of attaining to the perfection he
imagines。 In that year； while still at the University； he had
read Spencer's Social Statics； and Spencer's views on landholding
especially impressed him； as he himself was heir to large
estates。 His father had not been rich； but his mother had
received 10；000 acres of land for her dowry。 At that time he
fully realised all the cruelty and injustice of private property
in land； and being one of those to whom a sacrifice to the
demands of conscience gives the highest spiritual enjoyment； he
decided not to retain property rights； but to give up to the
peasant labourers the land he had inherited from his father。 It
was on this land question he wrote his essay。
He arranged his life on his aunts' estate in the following
manner。 He got up very early； sometimes at three o'clock； and
before sunrise went through the morning mists to bathe in the
river； under the hill。 He returned while the dew still lay on the
grass and the flowers。 Sometimes； having finished his coffee； he
sat down with his books of reference and his papers to write his
essay； but very often； instead of reading or writing； he left
home again； and wandered through the fields and the woods。 Before
dinner he lay down and slept somewhere in the garden。 At dinner
he amused and entertained his aunts with his bright spirits； then
he rode on horseback or went for a row on the river； and in the
evening he again worked at his essay； or sat reading or playing
patience with his aunts。
His joy in life was so great that it agitated him； and kept him
awake many a night； especially when it was moonlight； so that
instead of sleeping he wandered about in the garden till dawn；
alone with his dreams and fancies。
And so； peacefully and happily； he lived through the first month
of his stay with his aunts； taking no particular notice of their
half…ward； half…servant； the black…eyed； quick…footed Katusha。
Then； at the age of nineteen； Nekhludoff； brought up under his
mother's wing； was still quite pure。 If a woman figured in his
dreams at all it was only as a wife。 All the other women； who；
according to his ideas he could not marry； were not women for
him； but human beings。
But on Ascension Day that summer； a neighbour of his aunts'； and
her family； consisting of two young daughters； a schoolboy； and a
young artist of peasant origin who was staying with them； came to
spend the day。 After tea they all went to play in the meadow in
front of the house； where the grass had already been mown。 They
played at the game of gorelki； and Katusha joined them。 Running
about and changing partners several times； Nekhludoff caught
Katusha； and she became his partner。 Up to this time he had liked
Katusha's looks； but the possibility of any nearer relations with
her had never entered his mind。
〃Impossible to catch those two；〃 said the merry young artist；
whose turn it was to catch； and who could run very fast with his
short； muscular legs。
〃You！ And not catch us？〃 said Katusha。
〃One； two； three；〃 and the artist clapped his hands。 Katusha；
hardly restraining her laughter； changed places with Nekhludoff；
behind the artist's back； and pressing his large hand with her
little rough one； and rustling with her starched petticoat； ran
to the left。 Nekhludoff ran fast to the right； trying to escape
from the artist； but when he looked round he saw the artist
running after Katusha； who kept well ahead； her firm young legs
moving rapidly。 There was a lilac bush in front of them； and
Katusha made a sign with her head to Nekhludoff to join her
behind it； for if they once clasped hands again they were safe
from their pursuer； that being a rule of the game。 He understood
the sign； and ran behind the bush； but he did not know that there
was a small ditch overgrown with nettles there。 He stumbled and
fell into the nettles； already wet with dew； stinging his bands；
but rose immediately； laughing at his mishap。
Katusha； with her eyes black as sloes； her face radiant with joy；
was flying towards him； and they caught hold of each other's
hands。
〃Got stung； I daresay？〃 she said； arranging her hair with her
free hand； breathing fast and looking straight up at him with a
glad； pleasant smile。
〃I did not know there was a ditch here；〃 he answered； smiling
also； and keeping her hand in his。 She drew nearer to him； and he
himself； not knowing how it happened； stooped towards her。 She
did not move away； and he pressed her hand tight and kissed her
on the lips。
〃There！ You've done it！〃 she said； and； freeing her hand with a
swift movement； ran away from him。 Then； breaking two branches of
white lilac from which the blossoms were already falling； she
began fanning her hot face with them； then； with her head turned
back to him； she walked away； swaying her arms briskly in front
of her； and joined the other players。
After this there grew up between Nekhludoff and Katusha those
peculiar relations which often exist between a pure young man and
girl who are attracted to each other。
When Katusha came into the room； or even when he saw her white
apron from afar； everything brightened up in Nekhludoff's eyes；
as when the sun appears everything becomes more interesting； more
joyful； more important。 The whole of life seemed full of
gladness。 And she felt the same。 But it was not only Katusha's
presence that had this effect on Nekhludoff。 The mere thought
that Katusha existed （and for her that Nekhludoff existed） had
this effect。
When he received an unpleasant letter from his mother； or could
not get on with his essay； or felt the unreasoning sadness that
young people are often subject to； he had only to remember
Katusha and that he should see her； and it all vanished。 Katusha
had much work to do in the house； but she managed to get a little
leisure for reading； and Nekhludoff gave her Dostoievsky and
Tourgeneff （whom he had just read himself） to read。 She liked
Tourgeneff's Lull best。 They had talks at moments snatched when
meeting in the passage； on the veranda； or the yard； and
sometimes in the room of his aunts' old servant； Matrona
Pavlovna； with whom he sometimes used to drink tea； and where
Katusha used to work。
These talks in Matrona Pavlovna's presence were the pleasantest。
When they were alone it was worse。 Their eyes at once began to
say something very different and far more important than what
their mouths uttered。 Their lips puckered； and they felt a kind
of dread of something that made them part quickly。 These
relations continued between Nekhludoff and Katusha during the
whole time of his first visit to his aunts'。 They noticed it； and
became frightened； and even wrote to Princess Elena Ivanovna；
Nekhludoff's mother。 His aunt； Mary Ivanovna； was afraid Dmitri
would form an intimacy with Katusha； but her fears were
groundless； for Nekhludoff； himself hardly conscious of it； loved
Katusha； loved her as the pure love； and therein lay his
safetyhis and hers。 He not only did not feel any desire to
possess her； but the very thought of it filled him with horror。
The fears of the more poetical Sophia Ivanovna； that Dmitri； with
his thoroughgoing； resolute character； having fallen in love with
a girl； might make up his mind to marry her； without considering
either her birth or her station； had more ground。
Had Nekhludoff at that time been conscious of his love for
Katusha； and especially if he had been told that he could on no
account join his life with that of a girl in her position； it
might have easily happened that； with his usual straight…
forwardness； he would have come to the conclusion that there
could be no possible reason for him not to marry any girl
whatever； as long as he loved her。 But his aunts did not
mention their fears to him； and； when he left； he was still
unconscious of his love for Katusha。 He was sure that what he
felt for Katusha was only one of the manifestations of the joy of
life that filled his whole being； and that this sweet； merry
little girl shared this joy with him。 Yet； when he was going
away； and Katusha stood with his aunts in the porch； and looked
after him； her dark； slightly…squinting eyes filled with tears；
he felt； after all； that he was leaving something beautiful；
precious； something which would never reoccur。 And he grew very
sad。
〃Good…bye； Katusha；〃 he said； looking across Sophia Ivanovna's
cap as he was getting into the trap。 〃Thank you for everything。〃
〃Good…bye； Dmitri Ivanovi