black bonnet and cloak； and asked her sister…in…law in
what more she could be useful。
〃What I should like best；〃 said Rebecca； 〃would be to
go to the nursery and see your dear little children。〃 On
which the two ladies looked very kindly at each other
and went to that apartment hand in hand。
Becky admired little Matilda； who was not quite four
years old； as the most charming little love in the world；
and the boy； a little fellow of two yearspale； heavy…eyed；
and large…headedshe pronounced to be a perfect
prodigy in point of size； intelligence； and beauty。
〃I wish Mamma would not insist on giving him so much
medicine；〃 Lady Jane said with a sigh。 〃I often think we
should all be better without it。〃 And then Lady Jane and
her new…found friend had one of those confidential medical
conversations about the children； which all mothers；
and most women； as I am given to understand； delight in。
Fifty years ago； and when the present writer； being an
interesting little boy； was ordered out of the room with
the ladies after dinner； I remember quite well that their
talk was chiefly about their ailments； and putting this
question directly to two or three since； I have always got
from them the acknowledgement that times are not
changed。 Let my fair readers remark for themselves this
very evening when they quit the dessert…table and
assemble to celebrate the drawing…room mysteries。 Well
in half an hour Becky and Lady Jane were close and
intimate friendsand in the course of the evening her
Ladyship informed Sir Pitt that she thought her new
sister…in…law was a kind； frank； unaffected； and affectionate
young woman。
And so having easily won the daughter's good…will； the
indefatigable little woman bent herself to conciliate the
august Lady Southdown。 As soon as she found her Ladyship
alone； Rebecca attacked her on the nursery question
at once and said that her own little boy was saved；
actually saved； by calomel； freely administered； when all the
physicians in Paris had given the dear child up。 And then
she mentioned how often she had heard of Lady Southdown
from that excellent man the Reverend Lawrence
Grills； Minister of the chapel in May Fair； which she
frequented； and how her views were very much changed
by circumstances and misfortunes； and how she hoped that
a past life spent in worldliness and error might not
incapacitate her from more serious thought for the future。
She described how in former days she had been indebted
to Mr。 Crawley for religious instruction； touched upon
the Washerwoman of Finchley Common； which she had
read with the greatest profit； and asked about Lady
Emily； its gifted author； now Lady Emily Hornblower； at
Cape Town； where her husband had strong hopes of
becoming Bishop of Caffraria。
But she crowned all； and confirmed herself in Lady
Southdown's favour； by feeling very much agitated and
unwell after the funeral and requesting her Ladyship's
medical advice； which the Dowager not only gave； but；
wrapped up in a bed…gown and looking more like Lady
Macbeth than ever； came privately in the night to Becky's
room with a parcel of favourite tracts； and a medicine
of her own composition； which she insisted that Mrs。
Rawdon should take。
Becky first accepted the tracts and began to examine
them with great interest； engaging the Dowager in a
conversation concerning them and the welfare of her soul；
by which means she hoped that her body might escape
medication。 But after the religious topics were exhausted；
Lady Macbeth would not quit Becky's chamber until her
cup of night…drink was emptied too； and poor Mrs。 Rawdon
was compelled actually to assume a look of gratitude； and
to swallow the medicine under the unyielding old Dowager's
nose； who left her victim finally with a benediction。
It did not much comfort Mrs。 Rawdon； her countenance
was very queer when Rawdon came in and heard what
had happened； and。 his explosions of laughter were as
loud as usual； when Becky； with a fun which she could
not disguise； even though it was at her own expense；
described the occurrence and how she had been victimized
by Lady Southdown。 Lord Steyne； and her son in
London； had many a laugh over the story when Rawdon
and his wife returned to their quarters in May Fair。 Becky
acted the whole scene for them。 She put on a night…cap
and gown。 She preached a great sermon in the true serious
manner； she lectured on the virtue of the medicine
which she pretended to administer； with a gravity of
imitation so perfect that you would have thought it was
the Countess's own Roman nose through which she snuffled。
〃Give us Lady Southdown and the black dose；〃 was
a constant cry amongst the folks in Becky's little
drawing…room in May Fair。 And for the first time in her
life the Dowager Countess of Southdown was made amusing。
Sir Pitt remembered the testimonies of respect and
veneration which Rebecca had paid personally to himself
in early days； and was tolerably well disposed towards
her。 The marriage； ill…advised as it was； had improved
Rawdon very muchthat was clear from the Colonel's
altered habits and demeanourand had it not been a
lucky union as regarded Pitt himself？ The cunning
diplomatist smiled inwardly as he owned that he owed his
fortune to it； and acknowledged that he at least ought not
to cry out against it。 His satisfaction was not removed
by Rebecca's own statements； behaviour； and
conversation。
She doubled the deference which before had charmed
him； calling out his conversational powers in such a
manner as quite to surprise Pitt himself； who； always
inclined to respect his own talents； admired them the more
when Rebecca pointed them out to him。 With her
sister…in…law； Rebecca was satisfactorily able to prove that it
was Mrs。 Bute Crawley who brought about the marriage
which she afterwards so calumniated； that it was Mrs。
Bute's avaricewho hoped to gain all Miss Crawley's
fortune and deprive Rawdon of his aunt's favourwhich
caused and invented all the wicked reports against
Rebecca。 〃She succeeded in making us poor；〃 Rebecca
said with an air of angelical patience； 〃but how can I
be angry with a woman who has given me one of the best
husbands in the world？ And has not her own avarice
been sufficiently punished by the ruin of her own hopes and
the loss of the property by which she set so much
store？ Poor！〃 she cried。 〃Dear Lady Jane； what care we
for poverty？ I am used to it from childhood； and I am
often thankful that Miss Crawley's money has gone to
restore the splendour of the noble old family of which
I am so proud to be a member。 I am sure Sir Pitt will
make a much better use of it than Rawdon would。〃
All these speeches were reported to Sir Pitt by the
most faithful of wives； and increased the favourable
impression which Rebecca made； so much so that when；
on the third day after the funeral； the family party were
at dinner； Sir Pitt Crawley； carving fowls at the head of
the table； actually said to Mrs。 Rawdon； 〃Ahem！ Rebecca；
may I give you a wing？〃a speech which made the little
woman's eyes sparkle with pleasure。
While Rebecca was prosecuting the above schemes and
hopes； and Pitt Crawley arranging the funeral ceremonial
and other matters connected with his future progress and
dignity； and Lady Jane busy with her nursery； as far as
her mother would let her； and the sun rising and setting；
and the clock…tower bell of the Hall ringing to dinner and
to prayers as usual； the body of the late owner of Queen's
Crawley lay in the apartment which he had occupied；
watched unceasingly by the professional attendants who
were engaged for that rite。 A woman or two； and three
or four undertaker's men； the best whom Southampton
could furnish； dressed in black； and of a proper stealthy
and tragical demeanour； had charge of the remains which
they watched turn about； having the housekeeper's room
for their place of rendezvous when off duty； where they
played at cards in privacy and drank their beer。
The members of the family and servants of the house
kept away from the gloomy spot； where the bones of the
descendant of an ancient line of knights and gentlemen
lay； awaiting their final consignment to the family crypt。
No regrets attended them； save those of the poor woman
who had hoped to be Sir Pitt's wife and widow and who
had fled in disgrace from the Hall over which she had so
nearly been a ruler。 Beyond her and a favourite old pointer
he had； and between whom and himself an attachment
subsisted during the period of his imbecility； the old man
had not a single friend to mourn him； having indeed；
during the whole course of his life； never taken the least
pains to secure one。 Could the best and kindest of us who
depart from the earth have an opportunity of revisiting
it； I suppose he or she （assuming that any Vanity Fair
feelings subsist in the sphere whither we are bound）
would have a pang of mortification at finding how soon
our survivors were consoled。 And so Sir Pitt was
forgottenlike the kindest and best of usonly a few
weeks sooner。
Those who will may follow his remains to the grave；
whither they were borne on the appointed day； in the most
becoming manner； the family in black coaches； with their
handkerchiefs up to their noses； ready for the tears which
did not come； the undertaker and his gentlemen in deep
tribulation； the select tenantry mourning out of
compliment to the new landlord； the neighbouring gentry's
carriages at three miles an hour； empty； and in profound
affliction； the parson speaking out the formula about 〃our
dear brother departed。〃 As long as we have a man's body；
we play our Vanities upon it； surrounding it with
humbug and ceremonies； laying it in state； and packing it
up in gilt nails and velvet； and we finish our duty by
placing over it a stone； written all over with lies。 Bute's
curate； a smart young fellow from Oxford； and Sir Pitt
Crawley composed between them an appropriate Latin
epitaph for the late lamented Baronet； and the former
preached a classical sermon； exhorting the survivors not
to give way to grief and informing them in the most
respectful terms that they also would be one day called
upon to pass that gloomy and mysterious portal w